When Grandparents and Nannies Help: Keeping Teeth Healthy Together

In many families in the UAE, children are raised by a whole team: parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, older siblings and often a nanny. This is a blessing. It also means that a child's teeth are looked after by several people, each with their own habits. When everyone follows the same few simple rules, children's teeth benefit enormously.

Why shared rules matter

Tooth decay is mostly about routine: how often a child has sugar, and whether teeth are brushed well, especially at night. If parents are careful but the bottle goes to bed at grandma's house, or juice is sipped all afternoon with the nanny, the good habits get undone. It isn't about anyone being careless. Often carers simply follow what was normal in their own time or home country, where the advice may have been different.

Five simple rules for everyone

Keep the list short. Five clear rules are easier to follow than twenty.

1. Brush twice a day, and never skip the night brush. The last thing before sleep is brushing, then only water.
2. No bottle or sippy cup of milk or juice in bed. If the child wakes, offer comfort or water.
3. Sweets and treats with meals, not spread through the day.
4. Water between meals. Juice and sweet drinks, if given at all, stay with meals.
5. An adult brushes or checks. Young children can't clean their teeth well on their own, usually until about age 7 or 8.

Show, don't just tell

It helps to brush your child's teeth in front of the carer once or twice, rather than only explaining.

• Show the amount of toothpaste. A rice-grain smear under 3, and a pea-sized amount from 3 to 6. Many people use far more than needed; a photo next to the tube can help.
• Show the position. For toddlers, sitting behind the child or laying them in the lap makes it much easier to see every tooth.
• Show the "spit, don't rinse" step, so the fluoride keeps working.
• Point out the back teeth and the gum line, which are easy to miss.

Put it on the fridge

A short written routine on the fridge or bathroom mirror works wonders, especially for nannies who are new or for days when someone different is helping. Keep it simple, with pictures if helpful, and in a language the carer reads comfortably. For example:

• 7:30 am: breakfast, then brush
• Snacks: fruit, cheese, plain yoghurt, water
• Sweets: only after lunch
• 7:30 pm: brush, story, bed, water only

Sweets from loving relatives

Grandparents love to spoil, and sweets, chocolates and dates are part of how affection and hospitality are shown. Refusing outright can hurt feelings. Instead, try gentle middle paths:

• "Thank you, we'll have it after dinner." Accept the gift and move it to mealtime.
• Suggest alternatives they might enjoy giving: stickers, a small toy, a book, fruit, or time together at the park.
• Ask for help, not permission: "The dentist told us night-time bottles are causing problems. Can you help us with this?" Many grandparents respond well to being part of the solution.
• Follow sticky treats with water, or a brush if it's close to bedtime.

Respect and gratitude

The people who help raise our children usually love them dearly. Conversations go best when they start with thanks: "We're so grateful you're with him every day." Avoid blaming in front of the child. If a habit needs to change, raise it privately and calmly, and explain the reason. People follow advice more readily when they understand why.

It can also help to bring the grandparent or nanny to a dental visit. Hearing the advice directly from the dentist, and seeing the child's teeth checked, often makes the rules feel less like the parents' personal preference.

Signs to watch for

Ask all carers to tell you if they notice white chalky spots or brown areas on the teeth, bleeding gums, a child avoiding chewing on one side, or any swelling of the gum or face. Early checks usually mean simpler treatment.